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Ashley Cain told fans "it’s taking everything I have" as he shared an emotional update following the death of his infant daughter.
The Ex On The Beach star's daughter Azaylia tragically passed away from complications with a rare form of leukaemia on Saturday April 24.
Taking to Instagram, the footballer shared a snap of his neon orange trainers, saying he was finding it hard to wake each day.
He said: “Right now, it’s taking everything I have to begin each new day. The pain of not being about to see my little girl is consuming my whole body.
“So this afternoon, I put on my new running trainers that I bought after Azaylia gained her angel wings. I got them in orange to represent Azaylia and her battle, in the hope they would inspire me to get out and work through the pain."
He said he needed to keep living in Azaylia's memory.
"For days I’ve wondered when I would have the strength to put them on and hit the road. The truth is, I don’t feel strong, I feel far from it."
Despite this dark time for the couple, Ashley has been trying to tackle each day as it comes the way his daughter did while she was alive.
He continued: “But in times of weakness, I have come to think … ‘What would Azaylia do?’ She would be strong, she would be courageous and she would get up, get out and do what is needed to be done.
“She would push through every challenge with intent and without hesitation. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do!
“I guess the pain will never fade and things will not get easier, but we will get stronger. #LetsGoChamp #AzayliaDiamondCain.”
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Azaylia was just eight weeks old when she was diagnosed with the rare disease but despite a brave battle with the disease the cancer quickly spread and treatments stopped working.
But despite the pain he is going through, the doting father has returned to the running track using her fierce strength to power him on.
Ashley later shared a video of him running in the neon shoes for the first time since Azaylia died now taking a piece of his daughter on his runs with him.
The couple have been candid with the effects of bereavement has been having on them since Azaylia died, noting how simple things such as getting out of bed has become extremely difficult.
In a post shared to Instagram, Ashley’s partner Safiyya Vorajee explained how hard it has been.
Wearing pale blue pyjamas with rainbows and clouds on, she wrote: “Trying to get myself out of bed in the morning has never felt so hard.
“The pain that hits me when my eyes open is unbearable, I just want this all to have been a dream.”
The couple have since thanked their fans on social media for all their “love, care and support” as they mourn the loss of their baby.
Ashley shared a message with his 1.9 million followers on his Instagram stories to thank everyone for their support during Azaylia’s life.
He wrote: “I wanted to take this time to give thanks for all your love, care and support for Azalea throughout her battle and still now for us as a family.
“I am broken and hurting more and more everyday right now, but I made a promise to my daughter that I would keep her name alive by continuing to help other children, adults and their families during their own battles and I will honour that promise util I see her again.”
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