Today’s How I Do It, in which a new person shares what a week in their sex life looks like, is brought to you by an independent online Domina (aka a female dominant) and fetish model who goes by the name Miss Sammy Rei Schwarz.
Miss Sammy, 30, is happily married and has been working as dom for nearly four years. She’s also currently studying to complete a post-graduate degree.
Describing her relationship as ‘monogamish’, she says she enjoys exploring her fantasies with her clients and, once the pandemic is over, she’d like to ‘play’ with more people in person.
She says her sex life with her web programmer husband is ‘lusty, loving, and open’, and refers to him as the love of her life.
Without further ado, here’s how they’ve been getting on…
Warning: As you’d expect, this week’s diary features some explicit details about sex, so it’s definitely NSFW.
I wake up groggy and achy. Somehow I still suffer the curse of Monday mornings even though I haven’t had a 9-to-5 job for years.
Since I’m self-employed, I make my own schedule. Late-night online work appointments give me the entire day for my studies, partner, and dog.
Last night I had a midnight phone appointment with a regular. As I lay in bed not wanting to face the day, I recall with pride how, in addition to his usual anal training, I also made him cook an actual meal with vegetables that didn’t come out of the microwave.
The pure joy in his voice upon accomplishing this basic task was priceless. It’s those little things that make me love my job.
Still, as my foggy brain reminds me, it can be exhausting.
My husband is already out of bed and has started work. I can hear him on Zoom in the other room.
I groan, stretching my limbs. The bed feels cold and empty without him, yet I still can’t bring myself to get out of it.
I reach for my magic wand vibrator instead, which is always sitting plugged in and ready to go on my nightstand.
As I switch it on, a familiar buzz greets me. I sigh and slip it under the covers. I feel warmer already.
After a long day at the library, I’m tired but I stay up late for a texting session with a submissive client who loves wearing sexy lingerie.
As I stand bent over in front of my computer, I’m wearing nothing of the sort – just an oversized T-shirt and plain cotton panties.
‘Show me what you’re wearing,’ I type with a winky face and hit send.
As three little flashing dots let me know he is enthusiastically typing out all the dirty details for my enjoyment, I hear my husband come in.
He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me. ‘Hey,’ he breathes into my ear.
Pressing sleepily back against him, my eyes widen at the bulge I feel pressing up against me. ‘Babe, I’m working,’ I groan as I compose a reply to my client.
‘Cute, but I prefer you in red,’ I type with a devil face. ‘Take those off and put on your red lacy panties instead.’
Usually at this point, my husband would kiss me goodnight and ask me when I’m coming to bed. But this time, he only grips my thighs harder, and my body isn’t complaining.
‘Okay, keep working,’ he whispers, running his hands through my hair and underneath the loose-fitting, faded Tool shirt I’ve had since high school.
I consider shooing him away, so I can focus on my client, but the moment sweeps me up. Without turning away from the screen, I slide my panties down.
The rest of my work session is a blur – I try to sound alluring as I type, but there were typos I’m sure. My customer seemed to enjoy himself, though, and so did we.
I get up at 4am this morning for a phone sex appointment. It’s a good thing our apartment has thick walls, for the sake of the neighbours. I can’t say the same thing for my husband, who somehow has to sleep through my theatrics, shielded only by a door.
To prepare for the call, I wipe the sleep from my eyes, brush my hair, and slip on some black leather boots. I blow a kiss at the mirror and think I don’t look half bad for someone who just rolled out of bed.
Even if the client can’t see me, he’ll hear in my voice how I feel. As the phone rings, I smile and answer.
Throughout the call, I clack my heels back and forth, stomp the ground, hit the wall with my flogger, and cackle things like ‘you will swear allegiance to the galactic fempire!’ in my best (but probably quite corny) villainess voice.
I wonder if I’ve woken up my husband. I hope not.
Later in the day, as he and I stand in the kitchen throwing together a quick lunch, I wrap my arms around him tight.
‘You’re the best,’ I announce while snuggling my face into the back of his neck. ‘No, you,’ he returns as he gets plates out of the cabinet.
I’d really like to just pin him against the counter and f**k him right then and there, but I know he has to go back to work, and I have to take the dog for a walk. I squeeze him a moment longer and pull out the sandwich bread.
Early morning Thursday I have a text appointment with a regular patron whose imagination never disappoints.
As we spin a futuristic role-play, I control the vibration of an anal toy he’s wearing with the swipe of a finger on my mobile. Technology is incredible, isn’t it?
Later, when I’m walking my dog, I wonder which of the men or women I come across have ever hired someone like me to explore their fantasies.
Who knows? That awkward guy in maths class, that suave businessman who goes to the same coffee shop, the waitress at the local café… A girl like me could know all their secrets, and the thought gives me a thrill of excitement.
I spend the morning drafting some fetish erotica. Wrapped in a fuzzy blanket in front of my computer, I can hear my husband on a Zoom call in the other room.
Ever since the pandemic, we’ve spent a lot of time together within the same four walls. Sometimes it can get challenging, but today, I feel a surge of passion.
Maybe it’s my cosy blanket or the filthy scenario I’ve been outlining, but it’s suddenly very hot in here.
As I walk into the other room, I hear him hang up from his meeting and pull up a project on his computer.
Standing behind his computer chair, I rub his shoulders and kiss his neck before letting my hands slide down between his legs.
‘I’m working,’ he groans as I crawl under his desk.
‘Oh yeah?’ I respond cheekily as I unzip his trousers. ‘So keep working.’
Saturday we sleep in and wake up to the dog snuffling at our feet. Time to roll out of bed and take him on his morning walk.
As the fall leaves crunch under my feet outside, I take stock of what I want to get done today: take some custom photos for customers, call my grandma, spend quality time with my boo.
When I get back inside, said boo has breakfast ready for us, and for the dog too.
We spend the rest of the day running errands and working around the house.
The dog is shedding his summer coat and I sweep up a mountain of hair from the floor while my husband cleans the drains.
In the evening, we enjoy a nice hot shower together. As we hold each other under the water, we know we’re both too tired to have sex tonight, but it feels nice just to be together.
We take advantage of the sunny weather and take a bike ride together.
In the afternoon we come home, and he helps me take some sexy photos of myself for my website. Seeing him get turned on turns me on too.
Halfway through our little shoot, I take the camera out of his hands and set it to the side, pushing him down onto the couch.
Soon enough I’m straddling his face and reaching to the dresser to pick out some toys. My fingers float over the rope, the kinkier toys and contraptions, my brain alight with delicious memories and fantasies.
Tempting, but not today. Instead, I choose two little butt plugs and a bottle of lube.
Just as we’re getting into the heat of the moment, his cellphone rings. An ’emergency’ call from his boss.
As he kisses me in apology and pulls up his trousers to stumble over to his computer, I grumble good-naturedly about his job, then finish up taking pictures by myself. Looking at the pictures later, I notice that I look dishevelled and happy.
Before the pandemic, our daily lives didn’t overlap as much as they do now.
For better or for worse, it all takes place under one roof now: our work, play, sex, and sex work.
We might not have the most traditional marriage, but we’re having to balance work and love just like any other couple. I wouldn’t change a thing.
How I Do It
In Metro.co.uk’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.
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