Trevor Noah On Joe Biden’s First Day, And Why He’ll Rip Your Nipples Off

It’s the first workday for “Joseph Robinhood Biden,” as The Daily Show host Trevor Noah called him. Among his first duties was to swear-in the “4,000” appointees that will be assisting him. But that swearing in via Zoom came with a warning from the 46th president.

“If you’re ever working with me and talk down to someone, I promise I will fire you on the spot,” Biden told his workers.

“That took a turn,” Noah noted. “Welcome to a new era of kindness and respect. And if you’re not on board with that, I’ll rip your nipples off.”

Noah then turned to the redecorated oval office, asking, “Is it really an improvement to switch Trump’s carpet?  I respect history, but at some point it starts getting suspicious.” He then listed the historic artifacts in the office dating to past presidencies. The antiquities didn’t impress Noah. “Dude, are you broke?”

One piece of history is there permanently, Noah noted. “No matter what other changes, the bust of Martin Luther King is staying. Because no one wants to be the guy who removes the bust of MLK. If it a tornado hits the office, it’s staying.”

But redecorating is just a symbolic change. People are already noticing how different the Biden presidency will be from Donald Trump, as Noah played a montage of talking news heads underlining that point. “Joe Biden is so lucky All he has to do is have a vaccine plan and not lie for 10 minutes.” Then, Noah said, “,He’s George Washington.”

The lesson for all of us in that is “always follow the worst possible person.”

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