Boris must stop this breakdown of the lockdown or a nastier one is on the way – The Sun

CAN anyone understand how come B&Q is allowed to open – but not garden centres?

I thought B&Q WAS a garden centre.

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Never been in one myself, so wouldn’t be too sure.

I know they sell lawn ornaments — plaster rabbits and otters and stuff.

Makes it a garden centre in my book. I think they sell lawns too.

Why are people sitting in parks moved on by the Old Bill, but not people banded together to cheer the NHS?

Does the virus not work if you’re doing something virtuous?

If the lockdown hasn’t ended, how come McDonald’s and Burger King are planning to reopen?

Building sites are planning on going back to work — but not schools, just yet.

This is a peculiar time. I can’t help but feel we are seeing an unofficial end of the lockdown.

The traffic around my way has increased dramatically in the past ten days.

On Sunday there were scores of families out walking in the woods round where I live.

Businesses are aching to get back to work, to start making money.

There are traffic jams in London.

It’s all looking rather familiar. The good old days.

But if this is a peculiar time, it is also a dangerous time.

The Government is insistent that there must be no loosening of the lockdown restrictions.

And yet, clearly, fewer and fewer people are taking notice.

If you look at the opinion polls, people are still in favour of the lockdown.

They are frightened — and with good reason.

But with every day that passes, a larger and larger minority thinks: “Sod this for a game of soldiers, I’m off to work.”

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And the danger then is that we will see a second wave of the virus.

And as a consequence, a longer, nastier lockdown than the one we are experiencing now.

Look at what’s happening in Germany.

At first they eased lockdown — and are now about to toughen it up again.

Our Government has got to stick to its guns.

In my opinion it was a little late imposing restrictions on movement in the first place.

But at least in the end it did the decent thing — putting the health of the most vulnerable of our country above the need to make money.

There are those around the Prime Minister who want this over, now.

There are even suggestions that Boris Johnson has been so scarred from his brush with death that he can’t see the damage all this is doing to our economy.

Well, maybe being seriously ill did give him a different perspective. The right perspective.

Because there is absolutely no point now in giving in to impatience.

The more we relax restrictions now, the worse it will be in the long run.

And the more of our elderly people will be in danger.

And let’s be clear: it would be immoral and undemocratic to impose restrictions only on the over-70s, as some have suggested.

In between changing nappies and mopping up baby puke, Boris needs to address the country.

Tell his people to hang on there for a while.

Maybe for a few weeks, maybe a month or two. As long as it takes.

Make sure the lockdown doesn’t end by accident.

Because that’s what seems to be happening at the moment.


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A Bevan sent bub

IT’S been a fairly fun-packed six months or so for Boris Johnson, hasn’t it?

Elected leader of the Conservative Party. Wins an historic 80-seat majority at the General Election. Then faces the biggest crisis since World War Two with the Covid virus.

Narrowly escapes death at the hands of the virus.

And now – becomes a dad once again.

He and his partner Carrie Symonds have just announced the birth of a baby boy.

Well, huge congratulations to all three of them.

But what to call the kid? Given recent events, I think Boris should turn to the architect of the NHS. Even if he did come from a different political party.

So how about Aneurin Bevan Johnson-Symonds? Got a ring to it, no?

Wrong-un on my list

NOW this might be fun. In the next stage of lockdown we may be asked to select a “bubble” of ten friends we are allowed to visit.

I don’t know how they are going to police that. Maybe you have to carry a list with you.

“Allo, allo, allo . . . where are you off to, Sunshine?”

“Well, officer, I’m popping round to see Jeff.”

“Is he on your list?”

And what if Jeff’s on YOUR list but you’re not on his? We’re going to get cases of “Bubble Envy”.

I’ve got my list. I don’t know them. But there’s nothing in the rules about that.

I’ve chosen Emily Ratajkowski and Abbey Clancy – although not Crouchie.

No offence, mate.

I’ve included artist David Hockney so we can pool cigarettes.

And Kim Jong-un, just so I can see if the bugger’s dead.

Why do men get Covid?

BLACK and minority ethnic people are dying from the virus at a far greater rate than the rest of us.

The Government has rightly commissioned an inquiry as to why.

Is it something to do with genetics? Or is it more to do with poverty? Because poor white people are dying at a greater rate, too.

Health experts in my home town of Middlesbrough have seen a strong link between the most deprived areas and the highest number of deaths from Covid.

Hopefully we’ll find out.

And when that’s been done, can we have another inquiry? To find out why men are twice as likely to die from it as women. It’s scarcely been mentioned.

If it was the other way about, I suspect it would be headline news.

Will the real Kim shady please stand up?

MYSTERY still surrounds the fate of that porky, cheese-munching monster Kim Jung-un.

North Korea’s berserk dictator might be dead.

He might have had a heart operation.

He might be alive but unable to stand or speak.

Nobody seems to know.

Strangely enough, Western governments are rather hoping Kim is OK.

Not because he’s a really nice bloke who is running his country incredibly well.

But because history has taught us that when one North Korean leader dies, the one who replaces him is even more deranged.

It's a miss

GOOD news for once – it missed!

I’m talking about Asteroid 1998OR2.

It was in our vicinity Wednesday.

Some experts worried it might crash into us.

That would have made the lockdown even more fun.

My guess is the asteroid came up close, saw what was going on down here and gave us a massive swerve.

Heading off towards the sun with a mask on its face and a pair of rubber gloves.

An ugly smear of Priti

LOOKS like the excellent Priti Patel is about to be cleared of charges of “bullying”.

The Home Secretary has been the subject of a concerted smear campaign.

Largely conducted by our civil servants.

One bloke is even suing her, claiming constructive dismissal.

But the independent inquiry seems have found no evidence to support those bullying claims.

The lefties and the civil service are determined to stop the Government pursuing its radical agenda.

And they are targeting the likes of Priti and the Prime Minister’s special adviser, Dominic Cummings.

Frankly, anyone who says they were bullied by a five-foot elfin woman needs to take a good long look at himself.

Trouble brewing

SPARE a thought for Britain’s vibrant community of pagans and witches.

Tonight is the Eve of Beltane. An important festival for many assorted oddballs.

Normally they would be stripped off and shagging goats around a blazing fire . . . or something.

But social distancing means it’s going to be a very hands-off affair.

Because even witches get the flu.

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